Emotional Mastery and The Abyss
February 13, 2008
If you have felt the "Abyss", there is no need to describe it because there are no real words to describe it.
Perhaps it is known for being a deep dark place which seems to have no bottom, or at least it feels that way when you are there. When YOU recognize YOU feel depressed, sad, and lost, you recognize the deep dark and seemingly never ending "Abyss". Make no mistake, sometimes it is too difficult to come out of the "Abyss" alone. There is a need for a guide to shine light to a path for clarity or a clearing to see where you are. It is possible to find your way through the "Abyss".
Maybe you remember the movie, "The Abyss". I remember parts of the movie where this man was deep in the Ocean, and it was almost lifeless in that place. He did have assistance from others to help him out of this "Abyss". He was unable to really communicate or pull himself out of it. The crew he went into the Ocean with was working as a team to assist him. This was an intelligent and capable man who had expert training in his field. Still, he allowed assistance from his crew members to guide him and sometimes lift him up to a place where he could breathe on his own.
Emotions that are triggered by events, circumstances, holidays, expectations, misunderstandings, loss of a loved one, etc., can sometimes cause one to drop into the "Abyss". When you are there, it feels like no one cares, no one is available to you, and there is no way out. Although your mind and experience may tell you something different, the chemistry in your body changes, and there is a heaviness that exhausts you. You may feel so tired you can't even get out of bed. People have different ways to describe these feelings. When you feel it, your mind brings in negative thoughts and ways to sabotage any glimpse of happiness around you. With an imaginative and creative mind, well, there is no real end to the clever stories created to keep you believing you are completely alone. Words that seem simple and benign may trigger more pain in you.
The emotion variations are like a continuum in that there are so many degrees to the depression, the sadness and the sense of being alone. Physical symptoms accompany these emotions, too.
If you are suffering with physical and emotional pain from sadness, depression, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, remember to REACH out and allow your TEAM to guide you to your joy, happiness, and comfort. You may need to seek assistance from your doctor or another professional who is licensed. These professionals are trained and have experience to assess your specific needs. The professional may be a psychiatrist, psychologist, marriage and family therapist, or social worker. Your family and friends are also part of your TEAM. Remember, you may not notice they are available to you because your perception can sabotage or create an illusion that they don't care. They do care.
These are trying times with the economic changes and so much isolation in this technical world. We are social beings who enhance each other in our experiences. If you are not experiencing your natural state of peace and joy, you can choose to master the emotions that cause pain and discomfort. Reach out and allow your universe to assist you through those who remind you of how magnificent you are.
The "Abyss" is an illusion, and the fear that comes from this illusion is based in lies.
Action steps to take:
1. Talk to someone whom you know has love and concern about you.
2. Seek consultation with a health professional as listed above, even if it is on the phone. Your local phone book often has a listing of health professionals and crisis intervention phone numbers.
3. Allow yourself to be nurtured and cared for when you are unable to nurture yourself.
4. List the joys in your life. If you are unable to list the joys, please go back to number 1 above, and start all over again with these steps.
5. Write down your thoughts and notice whether they are uplifting you or not.
6. Ask a family member, friend or health care professional to assist you in finding words to change your negative thoughts into more uplifting statements.
Example: I am alone. No one calls me. No one comes to see me. I am always here for me, and I have never left. I am not alone. I can call my family and friends. I will go visit one of my family members or friends right now.
These are just a few ideas. Please do not hesitate to continue to seek assistance out of the "Abyss" until you are able to choose to change your emotions on your own.
If you are in crisis, do not hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. You can also visit their website for more information at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
-LeAnn O'Neal, MA, LMFT, Relationship Coach | 
